r/AskReddit – What are the signs that someone is secretly unhappy?


User Answer
/u/goobrooo 5945 Upvotes
For me, when I’m ‘secretly unhappy’, something I tend to do is dive pretty hard into TV shows and movies and sometimes video games. Specifically stuff that I’ve already seen/played, because there is some sense of security/comfort in indulging in stuff I feel like I know already.
/u/Hopeful_Swine 9674 Upvotes
Being tired all the time. Just generally not really wanting to participate in things.
/u/0xD153A53 9154 Upvotes
Something I speak of from experience: the state of the home.
I’ll leave dishes in the sink longer than I probably should because it doesn’t matter. I won’t make my bed because it doesn’t matter. I won’t vacuum the floor for a month because it doesn’t matter. I’ll let laundry slide a few extra days because it doesn’t matter. I’ll only shave my head and face once a week, maybe, because it doesn’t matter. I won’t replace my broken bed frame and box spring because it doesn’t matter. I’ll survive on peanut butter and banana sandwiches instead of cooking a chicken because it doesn’t matter.
I call this “depressive nihilism” and it’s fucking infectious.
The “upside” is that I don’t invite people over to my house because I don’t want them to see the state of affairs and be concerned.
Edit: Wow. This kinda blew up…I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I’d like others that feel this way to know they’re not alone either.
/u/Breakfast880 5754 Upvotes
If someone overreacts to something small and blows it way out of proportion, it’s usually a sign that they are very unhappy about something else but either don’t know it or are incapable of fixing it.
/u/almutairijamal2 3282 Upvotes
Sleeping all day. Also using sleep to “treat” problems like boredom, stress, headaches, or any number of minor physical symptoms that pop up. I legit have a headache and sleep does make me feel better, but I’m pretty sure that the basic cause of both is depression.
Awake all night. No matter how little I sleep during the day, I can’t fall asleep at night. I get agitated from trying. Yes I’ve tried meditation, yes it does help some… until I either overthink and have a panic attack, or fall asleep and wake up gasping and crying from awful nightmares. Day sleep does neither of those things.
Forgetfulness… uh, yeah…
Not eating/overeating. I am not hungry during the day, but I get the munchies st night. I can control my night time urges usually, but then I’m still not hungry during the day.
/u/carolruth569 2129 Upvotes
I think this one is super easy to overlook so I’m glad you mentioned it. I had a friend that had a hard time with his long term unemployment (nearly 3 years). The more he struggled, the angrier he acted. Not toward his loved ones either, but dumb stuff, like the burger he ordered didn’t have the extra cheese he asked for. The more he lashed out, the more his friends pulled away. He quit a lifelong hobby (music can get expensive) and none of those friends stayed in touch either. The gradual loss of his support system created a cycle.
The near-constant inconsolable anger was hard for me to be around, but I had a hunch that he wasn’t an asshole, just very depressed and in need of compassion. But I had my own rough patch a few years prior, and I was snapping a lot at petty stuff too. Seemed like everyone thought I was just a huge bitch and got tired of waiting for me to be fun again.
TL;DR: Angry people aren’t fun, but if a loved one is lashing out a lot, plus becoming withdrawn, losing interest in hobbies or having sleep problems, consider staying in touch and visit/call once in a while.
/u/AatroxIsBae 2490 Upvotes
I think mine manifests most in trying to make people laugh. Especially if you’re stoic or hard to read. Laughing = happy, so I feel more at ease.
Also if they’re worrying about stepping on toes or being annoying. I know my friends love me but even now I have that voice that just repeats “Annoying, no one loves you”
/u/ladyliayda 5668 Upvotes
self deprecating humor, but instead its a little over the top
/u/TTyrone1099 3368 Upvotes
Their one and only reaction to basically anything is smiling or laughing
/u/aznate8 699 Upvotes
Usually people are polite enough not to scream and whine but if more extroverted people tend to quiet down when unhappy. When asked if they approve of what is going on they tend to agree just so that they arent a bother.
/u/BoofahKingWho 1698 Upvotes
They neglect their appearance, hygiene and housekeeping while putting on a comic, smiley persona; they’re trying to kid themselves and everyone else.
/u/mrsuns10 1426 Upvotes
I bet everybody here is fake happy too
/u/iamnewlegend47 890 Upvotes
When you’re reading through this and like 90% of the shit applies to you..
/u/Anicha1 1117 Upvotes
Anyone whose life consists of work, eat , sleep and repeat. It’s called survival not living!
/u/this_is_pie 1056 Upvotes
If someone acts super friendly but never actually talks about anything serious, their feelings, or really about themselves at all. I presume its because they don’t want others to know how unhappy they are.
edit: I’m referring to people who are friends and have know each other for a long time. Unhappy people may not ever talk about their true thoughts, only surface level stuff
/u/SleeplessShitposter 743 Upvotes
Always wanting to talk about things like their childhood, etc.
Doesn’t mean they’re unhappy in general, it just means they don’t like how the world is right now, or something’s been missing.
/u/alkhubaizi22 1733 Upvotes
One of the big problems with depression is that people use use the word as a catch-all term for everything from grief to teenage sulkiness. This is why so many idiots tell depression sufferers they need to smile more, when true depression has nothing to do with this.
/u/gnew88 622 Upvotes
I feel like relentless gaming is a big sign. A huge escape from reality, finding comfort in an alternate world.
/u/alanezialia 634 Upvotes
When they’re emotionally a blank slate. One of the things about Depression is that it doesn’t (always) leave you sad, as much as you just lock down all your emotions for “later”.
Sort of the survival instinct – you lock it down and keep on marching. But … sometimes you forget to, or otherwise can’t ‘unlock’, and you just end up an emotional void for a while.
Edit: rather than believe some guy on the internet, here’s the NHS link
Quote: (symptoms)
having no motivation or interest in things
finding it difficult to make decisions
not getting any enjoyment out of life
If this applies to you, then it’s not a disaster. Most people do this from time to time. If it has been ongoing, then it may be worth speaking to a healthcare professional.

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